Cale heaved a sigh when he finally managed to heave all the bags to the top of the hill. Even though he was damn tired after dragging such heavy sacks up all by himself –cursing this body’s weak plate every once in a while– he still had to admit that the sight of ten-plus sacks of food stacked against each other was pretty impressive. He could feed a small village for a week with this much food.
…….and to think Glutton can eat this much amount of food as a casual snack. How frightening.
Sighing, Cale wiped the sweat off his forehead and then rummaged through the bags. His mind wandered to the two kids sitting outside the fence, who had been watching him panting and huffing while carrying a heavy sack of food every once in a while. At first, the two kids had been wary of him, flinching and scooting away as he passed by. However, by the fourth time their wariness was worn off by curiosity, and later amusement, since in their eyes, seeing such a weak adult carrying heavy sacks to and fro was funny. Especially when said adult was a young noble.
Heh, if the original brat Cale would’ve been here, he would’ve definitely died of shame. Not that this cheapskate cared about his image or stuff. Can such stupid things be compared to money? No, right?
Cale opened the bags and pulled out two breads, a piece of meat, some fruits and stuffed them in a smaller container. He looked through his pockets and found a small bottle of water, and after throwing away the water, he put milk in it. Nodding in satisfaction, he got up from his crouched position and walked back out to the kids. As he had expected, the kids had been peeking through the gaps between the fence, and peeping at him. Seeing him come towards them, they immediately rushed back to their previous spot.
The corner of his mouth twitched when he saw the kids pretending as if they hadn’t been peeping at him. Well, some things never change. No matter what the era is, kids will be kids.
“Here,” Cale said as he placed the smaller bundler of food by their side. Seeing him approach, the two kids huddled together, but soon relaxed when he watched him back off again.
The younger red haired child curiously reached out to the bags and rummaged through the food. His eyes sparkled seeing the food items. However, the older girl grabbed his hand and gave him a warning look, making the younger one flinch as he placed the backpack down and looked down at the ground guiltily. The older girl then shot him a wary look. Seeing that, Cale snorted. Wary much, eh?
“That’s a bribe.” Cale said as he pointed at the bag and said. “I am bribing you with food so that you won’t tell anyone whatever happens from now on. Okay?”
The older girl’s wariness subsided a bit, instead, she looked even more curious.
“It will be our little secret~” Cale whispered to them conspiratingly, and the children’s eyes widened with excitement as they nodded their heads adorably. Cale chuckled. How cute.
“Now just stay here and enjoy your food, okay? Let this oppa do his job,” Cale said as he ruffled their hair with each hand, not caring about their filthy state.
“Have a good day kids!” Cale waved goodbye to them, and went away. Since his back was towards them, he did not notice the two kids slowly patting the exact place where he had touched them, and stared at Cale’s departing back with a sparkle in their eyes.
Cale closed off the fence and walked back towards the bags of food stacked at the corner. He then stared at the ominous looking tree and rolled up his sleeves,
“Alright then, let’s get started.”
There were fourteen bags of food in total, not counting the bottles of alcohol that Cale had bought just for the heck of it. Cale first arranged them by stacking the bags with similar food items together, and then he decided to start with the offerings.
He decided to start with meat. At first, he was too lazy to cook this thing so he wanted to drop raw meat into the black hold under the ominous looking tree, and be done with it. It’s not like a certain glutton would notice the taste anyways -because hasn’t she been desperate enough to absorb nutrients from a dead body being stuck in this tree? Raw meat would taste better than that, at least.
…..But if glutton ever came to know that he half-assed with her food she would surely kill him.
Whelp, he guessed he should at least try to make the meat more palatable.
Cale held out his hand, and-
-a red flame sparked in his hands.
The corner of his mouth twitched as he thought that he was going to use his great powers to cook meat for someone. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
‘Glutton, you better be appreciative of this, or else-!’ Cale glowered as he picked up a piece of meat and started roasting it over his fire powers.
However, not everything went according to plan. Whatever idea Cale had of offering some delicious meat to a ten thousand years hungry glutton went out of the window when Cale realised that using his fire powers to cook meat was not a good idea. Well, he admitted that it was his own fault for not taking in the point that his powers were called the ‘Fire of Destruction’ for some reason.
Because of that, the result of roasting the first batch of meat over his flames? The meat was charred black beyond recognition.
In the second attempt of roasting meat by keeping his flames at half the strength? The meat was half charred, half-raw.
The third time cooking meat over his flames with the minimum strength possible? The meat was undercooked.
Cale was this close to losing his shit. Gritting his teeth, he cursed glutton in his mind for making him undergo such humiliating experience and finally managed to roast the meat to a manageable degree in his fourth attempt –ignoring the burned smell the meat was emitting. As long as it wasn’t either charred black or undercooked, Cale guessed the meat roasting experiment with his
destructive flames was a success!
And so he dumped all that
failed roasting experiments meat into the black hole under the evil looking tree.
The black hole greedily sucked away all the food, and a distorted voice screeched in his mind-
“G̘͞i͍̭̮̣͆̆̃̋̊ͅv̥̑é̪̗̹̯̃͂͠ ̹̘̥̿́͠M̜̓ẽ̛̘̖̯̘̲͌̇̓ ̦͉̂̆m̛̦͚̰̆̑̐ͅO̢̰̪̓̈́͞ŕ̛̥͇E̩̱̍͝!̫̦̓̎́͜”
“Yeah, yeah, You only care about eating, do you?” Cale scowled as he opened the next four bags. Now it’s time to feed this glutton some vegetables.
This time, he didn’t bother with cooking the vegetables. He just dumped the raw vegetables as they were into the hole, where they disappeared with nary a protest.
“I̱̒ ̛͓̹̜̩̓̑̚N̙̳̥̣̎͗̈́͠EĘ͈̦̍̆͂Ḋ̛̯̣̕͢ ͕̺͚̺̈́̾̅́M͓͡O̤̭͛̕͢͠R̟͔̔̆Ę̨̬͍͐͠͝͠!̡̠̖̫̀̋̇̂͌͟”
“I͇̎ ̧͓̗̼͌̽̓̕A̧̗̖͕̔̽̈͊͗͜M̧̫̳̟̽͒͌̍ h̫̺͚̺̾̔̇̾Ú͙̠̰͇̮͋̿̿̚ň͈̬́͡ͅG̞͋Ŕ̼̠͢͡͝y͇͍̬͒̊͘͟͡!͔̾”
“Sheesh,” Cale rubbed his ears and scowled at the black tree. “Are you trying to burst my eardrums? Keep your screeching to a minimum!” He scolded glutton as he had a one-sided fight with the tricky knot tied over a bag of fruit that just won’t. come. undone!
Too busy trying to undo the knot, Cale didn’t notice the screeching quieting down, as if it were an admonished child.
“Ugh, who the heck cares about a stupid knot!” Cale scowled as he finally admitted defeat against the evil, evil knot, and burned the whole sack along with the string. Thankfully, the fruits that had been in the sack were only a little bit burned, hence he threw them down the hole with no guilt whatsoever.
‘Glutton should just be thankful for my generosity. At least I’m willing to do this much for her!’ Cale scowled as he thought that while he unloaded another bag of fruits. ‘As if she’d ever do something like this for me.’
Cale dissed her in his mind, conveniently forgetting the numerous times a certain glutton –along with the other misfits– went along with his plans of looting undeserving nobles just so he could satisfy his craving for wealth.
After finishing the last bag of fruits, he glanced down at the hole and found that the darkness of the hole had lightened quite a bit now. Since the screeching had stopped for now, he guessed glutton was getting closer to being satiated for now.
“Just a little bit more,” Cale muttered as he grabbed the large barrel of milk, and almost stumbled back from it’s heavy weight. He grunted and wheezed at the effort he had to put to just carry a barrel of milk over to the tree, paying no mind to the sweat dripping down his forehead.
The sky was covered with beautiful pink and orange lights of the sun as it was slowly setting at dusk. He had spent a whole afternoon just carrying bags to and fro as well as roasting and offering food to his friend. He would have to finish this business in the few hours left till it gets completely dark.
Thankfully, it looks like he’d be done soon, especially with the way the black hole had lightened even more after dumping the barrel of milk into it.
“Now the only thing’s left is the bread.”Cale muttered under his breath as he stretched his aching limbs and tried to motivate himself “Just a little bit more…”
Cale grabbed the bags of bread one by one and then emptied them over the hole.
“I hope this is the last.” Or else instead of food, he’d have to make do with bottles of alcohol for now.
Thankfully, before it could come to that, the darkness in the hole had disappeared, leaving behind a white light that seemed as holy as the colour of glutton’s shield.
A rumbling echoed from the tree, and as Cale tried to listen closely, it sounded more like a pleasant sighs to him.
-To think I’d get to eat food after millenia of starving…!:
The obnoxious voice sobbed pitifully, making the corner of his lips twitch. Dramatic as ever, glutton. The only thing that can turn the usually strict glutton into a blubbering mess was food.
……heh, you never change, do you?
-Thank you so, SO much!-
Glutton continued to blabber on and on.
-Well, even though the meat was burnt and tasted horrible, I get that you were trying your best so I won’t comment on your cooking skills. Or it’s lack thereof.-
A vein throbbed over his forehead. Say what now?
–And the next time you cook vegetables, please try to cook them okay? Raw veggies are no good! –
Maybe he should just shove her back into that damn hole of hers. Or burn this tree to ashes. Tsk, tsk, this shameless fool….
-Ah, did you know that some of the fruits were burned? Are you sure you weren’t scammed by the vendor or something? Young man, you should be careful! There are too many swindlers out there! You should especially pay attention while buying groceries!-
Yes, he should definitely burn her to death.
-Also, even though I do appreciate your kindness in offering me food, I’d still like to remind you that don’t forget to put at least honey in the milk! While milk in itself is delicious, I still prefer sweet milk than tasteless one, okay? Ooooh, why don’t you bring me strawberry milk next time? It’s super delicious!-
Hey, hey, aren’t you being too shameless? Demanding food from passer-by, is this what a
former hero should do?
-By the way, I liked the bread the most! It’s texture was so soft, and the quality was quite good! It tasted nothing like whatever I had back in my days!! It was so tender and soft, and tasted so good~ I guess the wheat it was made from must’ve grown on some really fertile lands! Wow, I can’t believe the world has progressed so much these past years!:
-Well, even though you burned the meat and accidentally fed me raw vegetables, and don’t have any experience in buying groceries-
…..is she being clueless or was she taking pot-shots on him? He couldn’t tell….
–I still get it! You’re a really good guy! You were the only one in these ten thousand years who fed me food! You are such a gentleman! An angel! A hero-
“Okay that’s enough.” Sure Cale was shameless, but he didn’t have such thick skin to endure glutton’s fawning with a poker face. His cheeks burned in second-hand embarrassment because of her. “Please, stop.” He sighed
-Ah..? But it’s the truth! You are such a good person-
“Yes, of course!” Cale smirked. “I am the best, aren’t I~”
Cale couldn’t help it. He snorted at her words, and soon burst into laughter.
It took him a while to get his laughter under control. Even after he finally somehow managed to calm himself down enough, he still couldn’t fully suppress his giggles.
-…..Why are you laughing, young man? Is something funny?
“Hmm, maybe~” Cale said in a teasing voice. “I haven’t had this much fun since that one time we looted the castle of Bellonia and I got my hands on that treasure~” He said with a wide smile on his face.
-Castle….of Bellonia? Wait, that’s-
“Ahh, just remembering the shine of those gold and silver treasures, and those beautiful jewels is making me feel all tingly~” Cale sighed dreamily as he remembered that particular treasure that he had stored in his secret storage.
That reminded him, he needed to find out what happened to all his wealth he had gathered. Was it used by some fools who had wasted his painstakingly fortune on silly things or was his wealth actually put to good use?
-It can’t be…..Cheapskate?
Cale crouched down before the now glowing hole and waved at it. “Hey there, Glutton” He greeted his old friend. “Long time no see~”
“…Did I break her?” Cale wondered when she didn’t reply.
“Hello?” He peered into the hole and called out. “Are you there?”
Cale sighed. “Maybe I did break her.”
“Oh well.” Cale sat down comfortable and sat with his legs crossed on the ground, not caring that his expensive outfit would be dirtied by the dirt on the ground. “She’ll come to her senses soon enough.” He said and then waited for glutton to finally get over her existential crises.
Cue a few minutes later.
-GOD OF DEATH YOU FREAKING BASTARD! WHY THE HECK DOES CHEAPSKATE GET A BODY OF HIS OWN AND GET TO EAT ALL DELICIOUS FOOD AS A HUMAN, WHILE I HAVE TO SUFFER AS AN ANCIENT POWER?!!!!
“Pfft-” Cale couldn’t help but crack up in laughter when he heard her screeching and cursing the GoD. “-Hahahahahahaha!”
-COME DOWN ON EARTH! LET ME STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH, YOU ***** GOD!!!