Raisons d’être: Beyond the Light – Chapter 4: A Cruel Fate (2)

“When you are sleeping soundly, our kingdom will rise. Our power will awaken, in one night, in a blink of an eye, without you being able to avoid it, and without the world being able to deny.” They exclaimed. 

“Soon Matello become a forbidden land, it is said that the ancestors condemned the land to be barren so it could not be used anymore, it was said that they did that to prevent the Kryfi Empire from taking their sacred land.” 

The story was so annoying, I was at a loss for words. 

Were all the members of this family lineage murderers? 

Now that I say it like that it seems like we’re a real mess of a family. 

“Emperor Emrys froze the hearts of the mages in the tower with the help of the spirits because if feelings emerge precede logic, and passion precedes cool heads, that power can be used for personal matters because the power of the Tower can easily destroy a kingdom, as they have great mana, but no matter how strong they are, the descendants of Kryfi Imperial Family are known to be the only human’s descendant who have both mana and anima without breaking the god’s law.” 

The only interesting thing about this world is magic, I want to see magic someday, and I want to see real magicians too. I wish I hadn’t died before that moment come. 

At the same time, it’s ironic. 

The fact that I’m very interested in magic, stopping me right at the mere ‘interest’ nothing more and nothing less. I couldn’t satisfy my curiosity. No, all else aside, now I understand what the meaning behind his words was before leaving me alone in this rotten place. 

[“I can’t feel your anima nor mana flowing within you, without me killing you, you’re going to die anyway,”] 

To him, he didn’t need to waste any energy or make a single attempt to kill me because according to him I could die at any time without him needing to do anything. My existence is no smaller than an ant, which can be trampled to death at any moment by a human. My presence, which had no mana or anima, felt so small and weak than the average person that possessed at least one of them. 

[“I wonder how long this thing can live in accordance with its name.”] 

After learning all the facts, I also became curious, and couldn’t help but wonder, how long can I survive in this world? It’s ironic, but what could I say? In the end, I want to live. 

I want to live and have a normal life; I also feel sorry towards myself, especially when I find myself struggling and trying my best to grow up even though I am faced with an uncertain future. But what could I do? This is just the beginning of an uncertain story. 

Out of blue, I tried to hit the book Estelle was holding after she turned the page, but I couldn’t reach it, and started cursing inwardly. However, Estelle chuckled. 

 “Oh my, do you recognize who is he?” 

There was a man planting a sword downwards in front of the great throne. 

The jerk. I answered, while shouted like a baby did, “Ba-baw!” 

“Yes, that’s right. It’s your father.” She exclaimed cheerfully and left me speechless, as she stroked my head like she was praising me.  

I sighed. 

That’s right, in the eyes of others who heard me, this is only baby language, which couldn’t be understood. 

 “My, my, our sweet princess is certainly a bright brilliant young child… that reminds me, I’ve never told you His Majesty’s name. Would you look at this picture again?” 

I don’t want to see it! I’m not curious! 

“Your father, His Majesty Kieran Eshe Elaine.” 

I sighed desperately, Haa… what am I hoping for? 

To these people, the current emperor of the Kryfi Empire is a hero. He is praised as a brave hero and a savior of the nation, but in truth, he is a heartless man, who killed his father and his stepbrothers, and sat himself upon the throne. 

When he was still the second prince, he had succeeded in conquering four kingdoms. He was revealed as a savior because of the former Emperor, his elder brother, always flung violence around, but that didn’t mean he was nice. In fact, for me, he is just a crazy tyrant, the real psycho. 

When the story read by Estelle reached its end, I immediately closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. Estelle chuckled because she thought I was sleeping soundly, she put me back into my bed. 

“Princess, even though you don’t have any mana or anima, I hope you can grow up well, always be happy, and live to old age.” She said while caressing my hair gently. 

The sound of footsteps began to sound further away, and the sound of a door being closed could finally be heard. 

In this silence, I gradually fell asleep… 


I, who was wrapped in darkness, somehow felt not afraid. It was a cold darkness and the chill it gave off was like it could pierce the bones, I could only shiver but even so, I didn’t feel that I was being threatened, and instead it felt like I was being tickled. 

< Why do you hope? > 

I was surprised by the toneless male voice and had a hard time distinguishing between reality and dream. I thought it was my inner voice that represented my despair until the next sentence was spoken. 

< Why do you hope? Even though you know very well that you will die faster when death catches you. You can live comfortably, even if you have to die faster, but isn’t that better than suffering along the way? >  

He questioned me, curiously. 

“Ha, lucky my feet…” I responded sarcastically, and found myself quite surprised, it has been a long time since I last heard my own voice saying the proper words. 

Anyway, well yes, what he said is somewhat true. The place I lived in is quite luxurious because it is a former palace of concubines, and I was able to eat three times a day, nothing was lacking. However, despite the fact that what he said is true. If I think whether this is better or even worse, then I haven’t found a reason to say ‘this is better’ or ‘this is worse’ 

In the past, there was no one I could really rely on, the most luxurious thing that remains in my memory was the warm and comfortable darkness that enveloped me, trying to put me to sleep.  

I don’t know the reason why I was created or the reason why I was born, I feel tired and lonely behind the darkness, but since the day I opened my eyes… when the colors filled my vision, the sounds of birds singing echoed in my ears, and a ticklish feeling when the wind blows through my skin, I found myself start hoping for more and I started wanting to find the purpose for my existence. 

“I hope because I want to live long and be happy, free and detached. I want to live the life that was meant for me and see the result of the choices I made while living it.” 

< Your destiny was determined once you were born. You fight against something inevitable; won’t you just make your death more painful? > 

“Already determined? Then I can just change it, right? I don’t want to live a life like a puppet, where I can’t freely make a single decision. I want to live according to my own terms, even though you are a God, even if you are the death, I will fight your will.” 

I didn’t say it in an angry or annoyed tone, I just answered it calmly while listening to my heartbeat. There was a pause, as if he were reviewing my words. 

< Oh my. >  

He gasped, then expressed his surprise with a light chuckle, he has a very pleasant voice to hear, it attractive in its own way, but just as annoying at the same time. 

< My dear child, destiny and fate that has been determined since you were born can hardly be changed… > 

He sounded like he hesitated for a moment but chose to continue. 

< But, if you insisted… if your desire to live be stronger than the destiny that awaits you, under my name, with my protection, I will always keep you away from the ‘death,’ but remember, everything is depends on you. > 

Hearing those supportive words, I smiled. 

< Find me. > 

< Until then, I will wait for you along with the choices you have chosen. > 

However, before I could thank him for his blessing and support, the atmosphere that surround me changed drastically and the temperature went down aggressively. In the end, the darkness that had been cold yet gave off a refreshing sensation turned into a dull sharp needle trying to pierce my skin, as if there were two opposing darkness, one trying to protect me and the other trying to hurt me. 

< Because I will prove you wrong. > 

That last sentence sounded like an echo, but disappeared even before it finished resonating, then I could feel the warm breeze slowly caressing me and I feel like there was something missing, which was his unusual cold presence, the pressure. Thus, the unknown existence had completely disappeared. 

Crazy b*sta-! 

I couldn’t even curse properly as a light blinded my darkened vision. Therefore, I blinked my eyes a few times because of the glare and a blurry scene appeared before me, did I return to reality? 

I feel tight, is it because I’ve just had an intense occurrence? I don’t know what to name this kind of experience after, an experience that felt like a dream but also felt so real to be called a dream, but my annoyance is no less than the suffocation I was feeling right now, I was so pissed off that I felt like crying. 

I unconsciously whined and my whole body was also moving to and fro, squirming. I feel restless, my eyes are heavy but I’m a little scared to fall back asleep, I keep trying to open my eyes that persist on closing until my blurry vision catches the figure of a woman standing tall next to my crib, staring blankly out the window. 

Is that you, Estelle? 

I shook my hand in the air and let out some noise, trying to get her attention. 

What brought you back? 

She turned to me, looked at me for a while before opening her mouth to say something. I couldn’t hear clearly what she was trying to say to me, nor could I read her lips because my vision is blocked by her hand that trying to reach me, but when her hand faintly reached the side of my cheek and started to caress gently… 

Ah, this warm feeling… 

I felt utterly calm and even before I knew it, I’ve driven back to dreamland. 


[A/N] A mysterious entity, a challenge… will Keisha accept the challenge?

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About KeiRhee

Absurd, best described him and how we fell in love. Creo quia absurdum est.

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