The Thug Life

“Goldie Gramps! Goldie Gramps! Look what I found!” Raon fluttered his wings in excitement, clutching a rectangular book as if it was a treasure.

 

“What did you find this ti—” The golden dragon widened his eyes in embarrassment and horror at the thing Raon was holding in his soft chubby paws.

 

Oh no!

 

Not that one!

 

The normally calm and collected dragon started sweating uncharacteristically.

 

This was his dark past!

 

“DON’T OPEN IT—”

 

Alas, he was too late. The unlucky bastard, Raon, and the kittens had already gathered in front of the album—yes, it was an album— and now they were looking through his past embarrassment with dubious expressions.

 

Well, there goes the dignified impression everybody had of him.

 

“Woah! Grandpa! You look so cool!” Raon exclaimed in admiration.

 

“What are those spikes on your head? They look wonderful nya~” The kittens agreed.

 

‘…What?’

 

Cale couldn’t believe it. He looked up at the mature and dignified dragon who was currently sporting a blush of embarrassment and shock, and then he gazed at the picture again.

 

‘Impossible’

 

The picture…….

 

It was a young Eruhaben in golden punk clothes, a toothpick in his mouth, stepping on a poor….dragon(?)…..with an arrogant look on his immature face. What’s worse? He even sported a 2 feet tall, shining golden colored mohawk on his head.

 

Cale had seen plenty of unbelievable things in his life and this one easily took a place in his top ten. He thought back to the time Dodori had told them about Eruhaben—

 

“…… My mom did tell me about an extremely strong and arrogant Dragon thug who took down Dragon after Dragon with his dust attribute…….”

 

“Aigoo….So that punk meant it literally?” The red haired father of three muttered unconsciously.

 

“What did you say, human?”

 

“…Haaah……”

 

What? What could he even say? He was speechless. He looked at Eruhaben again. The golden ex-thug had heard Cale’s sigh and was currently hiding his face behind his hands. Cale felt pity for the dragon, but first, it was important to make sure that the children didn’t get any weird ideas—

 

“What is this hairstyle? I want it too!”

 

“Me too nya~”

 

“This hairstyle does look interesting nya~ I will like a similar one too nya~”

 

Cale looked at his kids who were trying to make the same mistakes as their grandpa.

 

‘Aigoo you poor kids, why are you trying to create a dark and embarrassing past for yourselves?’

 

Cale ‘cleverly’ decided to change the subject before his children committed a huge mistake that would haunt them for the rest of their lives.

 

“I am hungry! Let’s have cookies!” He smiled in a way that he thought was ‘gentle’, only to see the kittens and the baby dragon panic while taking out a large amount of apple pies out of nowhere.

 

“Human! Why didn’t you tell us you were starving?! Are you alright? Do you feel like fainting? Humannnn….”

 

“Nya nya, you have to tell us such things nya~~”

 

Cale witnessed Eruhaben looking at him gratefully before his sight was filled with fluffy kittens and soggy apple pies.


“Human! How do we look?”

 

Cale’s unsuspecting eyes met with a rather unexpected sight. Standing before him were an odd bunch of people.

 

Raon, On and Hong were in their human forms. Mary had changed into a….black colored formal suit(?), Cage and Taylor were wearing matching punk clothes, and Rosalyn had exchanged her own red robes for fiery red, leather leggings and jacket.

 

But all of these people had a strange similarity.

 

All of them sported mohawks.

 

Some had multicolored spikes, like Raon who had black spikes with red tips. Others had ‘normal’ spikes. If you could call this horrifying hairstyle ‘normal’. Hell, Rosalyn’s mohawk seemed to have caught on fire, if the dancing flames on her spikes were any indication.

 

“…What is this?” This was too horrible to be a prank.

 

‘Why would they do that to themselves?’

 

“Human…?” The baby dragon who looked like a carbon copy of Cale and sported a two feet tall mohawk called his father in confusion. He had expected to be praised and complimented, but why did it look like his human had gone into shock instead?

 

“……Maybe he’s unhappy that we disturbed his sleep?” Cage asked, unsure.

 

“Then in that case, we’ll come back later. Please rest well, young master.” Rosalyn smiled at the poor red-haired ‘slacker’ and the weird bunch moved out of Cale’s sight.

 

The unwilling hero sat staring at his wall for the next five minutes, wondering if it had all been a dream.

 

‘Did I drink too much yesterday?’ he wondered, rubbing his eyes.

 

‘Well, I’ll go back to sleep. It’s probably all a dream anyway.’ he tried to cheer himself up with notions that seemed false, even to himself.

 

When in doubt, go to sleep and hope that everything is cleared up by the time you wake up.


“Don’t be so sad nya~”

 

“Our human will definitely praise us once he wakes up nya~”

 

“For now let’s show this to others nya~”

 

Pat pat pat

 

The kittens patted their youngest who felt a little sad that their human hadn’t been able to properly appreciate the new changes to their hair. But all of them knew how important it was for the human to get his rest.

 

“I’d say that this hairstyle is too cool. I didn’t know Eruhaben-nim was a trendsetter!” Cage exclaimed excitedly. Taylor had no choice but to smile at his best friend. He was already missing his smooth blonde locks.

 

‘I wonder if this change is reversible’ he lamented, touching the spikes on his head that seemed hard enough to stab others.


‘What’s this? Wasn’t that a dream? Why does everybody…….’

Cale found it hard to understand what was happening. Was this some kind of curse? A contagious disease? Was Eruhaben’s album cursed?

 

Mohawk there, mohawk there, everywhere, not a single head free of spikes.

 

This was the condition of every single person in the Henituse territory. Ever since Cale had woken up, he had been seeing this bizarre scene of everybody sporting colorful mohawks on their heads. He had nothing against people choosing odd and dangerous hairstyles, but there was one thing that was really testing his patience—

 

“Human pwwweeezeee” Raon pleaded with big trembling eyes.

 

“You’ll look wonderful nya~”

 

“Yes you will nya~”

 

—it was that everybody was pleading him to change his hairstyle too. Never mind the fact that his eyes felt like they were being repeatedly stabbed due to seeing this spiky hairstyle ever since he opened his eyes in the afternoon.

 

Ron, Beacrox, Hans, and even Choi Han hadn’t been spared from this curse. He had felt betrayed the moment he had seen Choi Han with the accursed hairstyle. His black hair had been done up in spikes that emitted a black aura unique to the swordsmaster.

 

“I’m sorry Cale-nim, I’d always wanted to try this out, but my mother threw her slippers at me and my father said that he would disown me if I ever decided to change my hairstyle to something like this.” Choi Han confessed with an embarrassed smile.

 

“……” Cale had nothing left to say.

 

“What about Ron and Beacrox? Hans?”

 

“It’s a practical hairstyle. Great for self-defense.” The wizened butler smiled gently “You can stab your enemies with it, there’s no need for daggers or swords.”

 

‘….How vicious,’ The poor red-head shuddered at the gentle smile of his butler.

 

He entered the dining hall and closed his eyes in agony.

 

They were affected too.

 

Basen….Lily….Deruth……

 

‘If only I could’ve stopped you from going down this path’, he thought with some guilt.

 

“What happened to you?” Deruth asked in concern. Was Cale feeling sick?

 

Well, Cale did feel sick…. He was sick of this ‘trend’. Not that the unwilling hero could say what was in his mind. He was pretty sure he would go to some kind of mohawk hell if he broke the hearts of these mohawk loving souls.

 

“I’m alright.” He tried to smile, but he was ninety-seven percent sure it came out as a painful grimace. “….What made you change your…Uh….Hairstyle?”

 

“Ah….you see…” Deruth replied awkwardly “The kids were starting a trend…. And I thought it would be a good way to bond….Ha….Haha…” He tried to touch the spikes that looked stronger than the cutlery in his hands.

 

“Ah right! Hyung, why don’t you try it too? It feels so light and comfortable!” It seemed like Basen, too, wanted to make Cale miserable.

 

The ‘slacker’ briefly weighed the pros and cons of flipping the dining table and running away screaming, but then he decided that even flipping the table would take too much of his energy.

 

‘Wait till Violan finds out about this’ He thought rather naively.

 

He turned around to escape his family members who had been cursed with the mohawk, only to get the shock of his life.

 

The world was ending.

 

Violan was sporting a mohawk of her own.


Clang clang

 

Vicious sounds of battle reached Cale’s bedroom. He had holed himself up in his room ever since he had seen this spiky hell on earth. The cornered hero peeked out from his bedroom window, only to see Choi Han and Beacrox sparring……Not with their swords, but with their spiky hair…..

 

‘It’s good to have fun…..but is it necessary to spar like this? Where are their swords anyway?’ Cale hadn’t seen Choi Han carrying his sword ever since he changed his hairstyle.

 

‘Aigoo….this brings me more despair than the sealed god ever could.’ He lamented, half expecting the sealed god to jump out of his cupboard with a ‘Tada~~!’

 

Beep beep

 

The video communication device rang with a tuning reserved for Alberu.

 

Cale had no choice but to call Raon to switch on the video communication device.

 

‘Maybe His Highness would understand my plight’

 

He couldn’t help but hope that the crown prince shared the same mindset that he had for the recent trend.

 

“Hyung you have to hel—” his words came to a sudden halt as he stared at the screen in horror.

 

The sun of the Roan Kingdom, the Shining Star of the kingdom, had literal sun rays coming out of his head. In other words, even Alberu Crossman had fallen into the clutches of the evil mohawk.

 

“Et tu, hyung?” He muttered in a heartbroken voice.

 

“How are my dongsaeng and my great and mighty nephew doing?” Alberu greeted, ignoring Cale’s lamenting cries.

 

“I am alwighty! How about you uncwe cwookie? Wow you wook cwool!”

 

“Thank you nephew. You look great too.” Alberu gracefully accepted the praise.

 

“I knwow wight! I’ve bween twying to get ouw hwumwan to chwange his haiwstywe, but he wefuses to dwo it!” The baby dragon complained, pouting his chubby cheeks.

 

“Oh?” Alberu’s eyes suddenly gained a rather evil glint as he blinked at Cale. “This trend is practical as well as stylish. Even our neighboring kingdoms agree, so we have unanimously decided to rename this continent ‘The Mohawk Continent’. Isn’t it great news dongsae—”

 

Beep beep

 

The screen turned blank as Cale forcibly ended the call. He didn’t need to listen to this bullshit anymore.

 

Beep beep

 

The device rang again.

 

“What is it?” The tired red-head asked briskly, ready to disconnect the call if Alberu kept trying to rile him up.

 

“Ah I didn’t mention the most important part, did I? Our sources have found out that The White Star hates Mohawks to the point that he’s been holed inside his room so that he doesn’t have to see ‘that monstrosity’.”

 

“How wude!” Raon exclaimed indignantly.

 

“He’s been heard saying ‘swords are the best’ over and over while sulking and caressing his fire sword.”

 

“…..oh”

 

That was, honestly, the only reaction Cale could give.


“Come watch a fight of honor! Let’s see who wins and who loses! Is your mohawk strong enough to win against the strongest? Come and see! People placing bets come to the right!”

 

“How did it come to this?” Cale wondered. Swordsmen who fought with grace and dignity were now charging at each other like raging bulls, trying to stab and slash each other with their spiky hair.

 

The people had started decorating their mohawks with mana powered lights and shiney jewels and beads, similar to how Christmas trees were decorated back in the world he lived in as Kim Rok Soo.

 

Sigh

 

Cale ran his hand through his hair, or at least, he tried to. He had forgotten that he had been cursed with mohawks too. He thought back to what Alberu had told him—

 

“The White Star hates mohawks”

 

He had been torn between feeling a sense of comradery and anger.

 

On one hand, he shared the same feelings towards that accursed hairstyle as the White Thing. On the other hand, how dare that white thing mock his family’s choices?!

 

Finally, he decided that he hated the white thing more than he hated a dangerous but significantly less annoying spiky hairstyle.

 

“Hwuman! Thewe awe spwecial chwicken skewews! I want to twy it!”

 

“Me too nya~~”

 

“Alright, but let me check how the skewers are, alright?” He smiled indulgently at his kids and went ahead to pat their heads……

 

……Only to be stabbed by their strong mohawks.

 

He looked at his bleeding hands with an absent look in his eyes while his companions panicked like headless chickens in the background.

 

‘My hands are bleeding…because they were stabbed by spiky hair……What even is my life?’ he closed his eyes, feeling defeated.


Cale Henituse curled up on his bed, clutching his hands with a frowning face. Anybody who saw him could tell that he was having a nightmare.

 

Suddenly the young man sat up, gasping. He hurriedly touched his hair and sighed in relief after finding his soft and straight locks tied with a hairband.

 

‘So it was a dream’ He determined, wiping his sweaty forehead.

 

Knock knock

 

“Enter”

 

Cale looked up at Choi Han, Rosalyn and Lock who entered the room, only to freeze and tumble down his bed with a thud.

 

The emotions in his eyes couldn’t quite be described as ‘just horror’, for it wasn’t something as simple as that.

 

“Cale-nim! Are you alright?!” Choi Han asked in panic.

 

The young hero had a lot of questions in his mind, but he decided to ask the most important one first.

 

“Did the kids see you?”

 

‘To be more specific, did the kids see your hair, which was set in a Mohawk?’

 

“No…..” Rosalyn was confused at first, but then she realized what Cale was asking.

‘Did the kids see you and get scared of you? You have to be careful not to scare them.’

 

The genius mage smiled, thinking about how much the young hero cared about his children.

 

“Don’t worry, young master Cale, this was a result of an experiment gone wrong. It will turn back to normal in a few hours. We disturbed your sleep, so we won’t take too much of your time”

 

“Oh…is that so?” The adopted father of three energetic children sighed in relief. “Make sure to stay away from the children till the spell wears off.”

 

“Of course” they promised.

 

“Now let’s talk about the work I gave you….”


Choi Han, Rosalyn and Lock silently walked out of Cale’s room, closing the door behind them.

 

“Young master-nim cares so much about his children.”

 

“He’s always been that way.” Choi Han felt proud of his employer and hyung.

 

“What’s on your head?” A childish voice froze them in their tracks. They turned around to find the kids looking at their hair in wonder.

 

“Hmm it looks interesting nya~”

 

“I want to try it too nya~”

 

 

In a different room, Cale suddenly felt shivers down his spine.

 

He had a bad feeling about this.

 

 

He shrugged it off. Everything was fine. Probably.

 

Hey there! It’s Phy again! This time I brought a different kind of hell. Cale is bullied, we get more of Raon’s uwu talk and of course, there’s an embarrassed Eruhaben hiding deep inside a cave somewhere!

You can comment and share this fic if you like it, constructive criticism is welcome too! And if you want to, you can send a few kudos my way by going to my ao3 page (I’m tenebris_ash)

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5 Replies to “The Thug Life”

  1. AngieJolie10

    I am scarred for life… My eyes, my poOOoor Eyes!!!
    Dont understand me wrong, it was freaking cute and uwu with the children and embarrassed Eruhaben ●~●
    But…….
    WhhahaAahhaa!!! I need bleach for my eyes, that was pure hell, the horror of my life!!!!
    Just imagining all of that! Cale! I feel with you, it was a nightmare!

    Although I thought you would go to the White Star and tell him ” y’ know? I absolutely don’t like it, just like you, and it’s hell, but for the sake of my children… I’m going to get a Mohawk just to torure you.
    Goodbye White thing”

    But it was really good 👍;-;

    Reply

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