The night of no moon

Note: This is a twsb fanfic and its’ narrated using Chris POV. Again, there’s no dialogue just plain narration. Hope you’ll enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it! (Warning: This fanfic might contain spoilers)

The dessert was silent. After the chaos that burned up the temple, the blazing fire was finally put off. It was calm. So calm that one might think there was no fire at all if not for the traces of ash and smoke. The wind blows over. Again, it was calm. The kind of calm that one would wish for light rain or thunder or anything. Anything that would make the prince’s absence not felt. But his presence was bigger than anyone could have imagined and it could not be easily put up with a song, a side joke or a story, so in a dessert as calm as nothingness. No one said a word.

What’s next? She wonders to herself.

The truth is, she hasn’t thought of it yet. But she could imagine what could possibly happen. With Prince Jesse’s death and with the Prince’s condition after creating havoc, it’s hard to even say there’ll be no war cause there definitely will be.

In all honesty, she wouldn’t have blamed the empress if she decided to and she’s sure she would be willing to fight even if no one told her to.

But right now, she just felt tired of everything. The silence of the night with no stars to even look up to make her start questioning her existence. If it somehow had brought upon this fate. She shouldn’t be here and yet she is. She felt guilty enough to live a life that wasn’t hers. And now she has to bear the weight of being alive in a world she knows she wasn’t supposed to be in. She should have been the one to have gone because she didn’t belong here.

How could any of this happen?

She always thought that everything would stay the same. Heck, the plans she has in mind for when the three of them will travel together after the conflict with the kingdom has been resolved have been finished. About the foods they’ll eat along the way knowing the capacity of the prince’s stomach and his palate. How she will tease his majesty for being busy because she thought that by that time he’s already been crowned. And then, on their respective day off as a paladin, priest and king, they’ll visit Eva’s store and maybe she’ll ask Elizabeth to go out with them only if she isn’t busy being the head guard and with her date Ganael. They’ll be married by that time, for sure.

They’ll ask the shinsoos to go with them and visit grandpa Remy in the eights village together with Agnes as their guide. And then, they’ll ask Ttukshim for permission to use the ark to visit the marquis and try to buy off his inventions. They could even go to Prince Jesse’s place, she imagined that’s where Benjamin would stay so they’ll go there and ask for tea together with Sant (maybe, his majesty will allow David to come too) afterwards they’ll visit Joanne’s exhibit. They will ask for teacher’s permission (who’s the head instructor for new paladins in the empire) so Herrit could go with them to Bakary’s Bakery (he should have one in the future right? Afterall, he got to take the recipes for baking from Lawrence) and of course, they’ll get to order her ‘chrislatte’. She would also go to her grandparent’s caravan once in a while just like the prince would go to the kingdom to visit his family and his majesty visiting the late empress and the cardinal in Duke Evelyn’s manor. Everyday or month or year, they’ll travel to places they haven’t been to and she even thought of what sir Belliard would write about them in their adventures. Everyday would be filled with laughter and fun. Everything would be fine.

It was supposed to be fine.Until this mess happened. And now, the question is not really about what would happen next but how would anyone get over his death? Will they be even able to?

As partners, she already felt buried with him. Just like how the shinsoos looks right now, only breathing and not living anymore. She thought she could truly live here considering how the only thing she felt while living in her world was hardship even though she lived earnestly and never gave up.

Her thoughts were put to halt when her mother offered her tea as she was sitting in the middle of the desert, taking time to process everything, she noticed how wet her eyes were from crying. Everyone’s the same. Joanne was sitting with Sir Johan who’s nothing but silent ever since. The shinsoos were with her grandparent inside the caravan together with his majesty. He
has been sleeping as a way to recover after using up his aether. They were waiting for the reinforcement the empress would send after she heard the word.

They decided to rest and wait because this day has been very draining in both physical and emotional aspects. She received the tea and said thanks, her mother squeezed her hand to comfort her and she offered a tight smile to assure her. Her mother went inside the caravan right after, giving her the space she needed without telling her. She drank the camomile tea and was again reminded of the prince

Prince Jesse.

He loves tea of any kind. Imagining his stuffed cheek as he ate slices of cake to partner the tea with made her smile. Then realization hits her again like a boulder crushing her hopes of everything being nothing but a dream.

He still has something to say to her and she also has something to ask. Will she ever get her questions answered? Will she even get the chance to talk to him ever again?

When she felt his aether shaking. She knows something is going on inside. She sensed a bit of fear mixed with anxiety. She thought it was part of the test at that time. But now, she thinks she should have thought differently. She should have then she wouldn’t have to have these thoughts haunt her.

In his dying breath, was he scared? He would have been hurt so much. Did he even die at peace? Or did he die suffering whatever that bastard did to him? Taking all blows and having no place to hide. She didn’t know and that makes her feel worse than before. She kept on having these thoughts over and over again. She could have done something. She could have. Why did she even not think about it? Just why?

The moment when she couldn’t feel him anymore shook her. It felt like a nightmare creeping into her reality. She kept on telling herself that the prince was there and he would have gone to help him. There’s no way he would have let him die. She thought it was not possible until she felt the scorching heat of furry and hate of the prince’s aether then later on it was followed by huge explosions.

At the sight of everything burning down, a tear escaped her eye.

She wanted to shout too and go wild just like how Cedric had been doing. She wanted to rain hailstones in the desert. She wanted something that could make this pain if not gone but be at least bearable. However, when she looked around she found everyone helpless. Even people who weren’t even part of the problem were suffering and she did not want another needless death. So she reigned her feelings, she gripped her whip so hard she found her hand bleeding.

When she caught her teacher’s eye, she knew he also understood what had to be done and with every bit of restraint left of her was used to stop the waves of her feelings starting to drown her. They have to stop his majesty. He should not turn into a child in front of everyone. His weakness would be used against the empire and many lives were at stake.

She couldn’t exactly remember how they did it. How she did it but eventually the chaos stopped. There were several wounded but no one died.

Except for the most deserving person to live.

And now at the dead of the night, where the stars are hiding with the moon in this desert. The word empty has found its new meaning.

F*ck this loud silence that couldn’t deafen the roar of her cries

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